In another the participants played the telephone game, to learn about communication.  Rather than just talking and imparting ideas, we give people a chance to loosen up, have some fun, and to bring up issues in a less hierarchical environment.

We also play a lot in our corporate retreats.  Full days of making business plans, timelines, and marketing strategies can get heavy. We keep our energy up by being silly, and we sometimes laugh really loud, but it actually helps us get things done.  I’ve heard that laughing can be as good as a trip to the gym.

Because of all these benefits, gamification has become a popular corporate tool of late, especially in Silicon Valley, I think.  In settings where creativity is necessary, leaders are trying to find ways to encourage employees to think outside the box. 

As I’ve looked for items to post this month, I’ve learned the type of play that gets the best results is non-directed - no rules or goals, just imagination.  The kind that little kids do before they go to school and start learning about games with rules.  This Wikipedia article on gamification discusses the difference between games–which have rules, goals, and structure–and play which is spontaneous and free. 
    
I was kind of shocked to realize that according to those definitions, I almost never do much actual play.  I do physical activity, but there’s almost always a goal in mind, like kayaking up to that bridge, or hiking to that waterfall. I’m currently training for a triathlon so my exercise is very goal oriented – five more laps, one more mile…

My husband often plays with our dogs.  They roll around and tug on things and all three of them are grinning with pure joy.  But I’m too much of a wimp to join them; I get hurt too easily.  It makes me a little sad when I watch them because I feel like I’m too grown up.

So, now I am on the lookout for an activity that makes me feel like that.  That I can do for the pure joy of letting go of expectations and limitations.  For the creativity and imagination.  For time with no pressure to do or achieve anything.  For just enjoying my friends' company. For no reason at all.

Anyone want to come over and build a fort in the woods with me and maybe pretend we are drinking tea out of acorn caps?

 “Food is the unifying fabric of humanity, connecting us to the Earth and each other.”  ~ Chef Ed Kenney

If you think about it, eating together is one of the main ways we mark life’s big and small moments.  We eat together at holidays. Someone once told me that every Jewish holiday can be summarized as, “Someone tried to kill us. We survived.  Let’s eat.” In the US we have a whole holiday that’s really become just about the joy of eating together – Thanksgiving.  Weddings and funerals and everything in between. 

When we want to get to know someone – first dates, new mothers-in-law, co-workers – we have lunch, dinner, or tea.  There’s something about having a meal together that breaks down barriers.  The Bible tell us, “It's hard to remain enemies when you've broken bread together.”

Obviously, humans are social animals. We work best as part of a community. Studies have shown that companies that have a strong community are some of the most innovative and successful. People feel energized and committed, and the bottom line reflects that.  (I could go on a rant about the quality of food that a company provides as a reflection of how much the company values community and its employees, but I’ll save that for another time.)

When families eat together regularly they have better health and less conflict.  Kids have better grades and better self-esteem.  Another recent study showed that drug addicts can be cured by being made to feel part of a community.

Eating together is a great way to build or celebrate community. Who are you going to have lunch with today?

“April Fools!!!!!!!!!!!”

What pleasure we took, as kids, playing harmless pranks on each other come April 1st. And, then, screaming “April Fools!” to show it was all in good fun; fun that was allowed and expected. No one was safe. Not even Mom.


A little background…

Until 1582, when the Gregorian calendar superseded the Julian model, New Year’s Day was celebrated from the end of March until April 1. Those who did not make the transition to the new scheme (out of stubbornness or ignorance) and celebrated on the old timetable were called “April Fish” or fools. Poisson d’Avril in France; pesce d’Aprile in Italy.

In Italy, on April 1, small chocolate fish are the treat of the day. And, pranks abound – such as taping a small paper fish to your friend’s back, leaving her blissfully unaware until others gleefully exclaim her status as the “pesce d’Aprile!”

So, what started as scolding to “get with the times, old man”, has become a day of licensed mild-mannered mischief. And, who can’t use that? We have so few. Halloween comes to mind. And, Mardi Gras.

There’s nothing like an official acknowledgment that we take “ourselves” too seriously, and can benefit from a counter-balance a few times a year.

“Ourselves”. Who are we, anyway? We seem to be not all one thing or the other. We are a mysterious admixture of appetites (some considered “acceptable”, others not) talents, fears, and expressions. Our selves hold great complexity. 

Fun gives us permission to lift the veil on some of those elements. To claim the parts of ourselves that we’d rather not give voice to, on most days - the “regular” days, when we are busy being who we are supposed to be, per our own standards, or others’.

 But one day in April is not enough. So…

What about that cool idea you have, but never express? Or, that little voice that says “why not?” which you silence with scorn? Or, that wacky imagining that you always put back in the box?

The Italians have an expression for this – it’s “the dream you keep in a drawer”. How might you open that drawer and take a good look?

Make a visual representation of that possibility (a collage of magazine pics will do just fine), so you can gaze at it each day. Or, maybe there’s a song that really says it best. Put on your earphones and scream-sing along. Try some self talk – say “I wonder…” or “what if…” and then fill in the blank with your notion. Say it to yourself, out loud. Each day.

Nothing wondered, nothing gained.

 

 

Albert Einstein said, “He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead.” 

I’ve been talking a lot lately about the interconnectedness of digestion, stress, mood, and health.  What we eat and how we digest it can have a huge impact on how we feel and think.  Equally, the things we are experiencing influence our digestion.  We all know this – we get butterflies in the stomach when we’re nervous, or constipation or diarrhea under heavy stress. 

There has been some amazing work in the last few years about the connections between what and how we eat and our ability to function mentally and emotionally.  More and more studies are finding that what happens in the gut during digestion is critical to almost every bodily function. 

About 60 percent of our serotonin, an important mood regulating chemical, is produced in the gut.  About 80 percent of our immune function happens in the digestive system.  Hormones are regulated by the foods we eat, and by how well they are flushed out along with other waste products. 

Eating junk food and living under stress for prolonged periods breaks down these incredible, finely tuned systems.  Eating well can improve almost every aspect of our physical, mental, and emotional lives.  For instance, eating probiotic foods like yogurt and lactofermented pickles has been shown to reduce depression and anxiety, and Vitamin D deficiency has been associated with depression, chronic fatigue, and muscle pain.

Good nutrition can be a powerful stress management tool.   But I also want to talk about the other side of the equation.  Even more work has been done on the health benefits of meditation and similar activities.  It’s easy to see how breathing exercises might improve anxiety, asthma, heart disease, high blood pressure, and sleep problems.  But meditation has also been shown to improve digestion, depression, overall mood and immunity.

One of the coolest studies I’ve seen recently showed that joy and awe are some of the best anti-inflammatory tools we have.  http://newscenter.berkeley.edu/2015/02/02/anti-inflammatory/ The study recommends adding nature, art, and spirituality to your health regimen.  “That awe, wonder and beauty promote healthier levels of cytokines suggests that the things we do to experience these emotions – a walk in nature, losing oneself in music, beholding art – has a direct influence upon health and life expectancy,” said University of California- Berkeley psychologist Dacher Keltner, a co-author of the study. 

This idea just totally tickles me.  I have made a conscious decision to spend time, money, and effort on getting the best diet that I can, so that I have as much energy, resilience, and focus, as much health as possible.  But my relationship with exercise and meditation are a bit more tenuous.  This study gives me permission, and incentive, to do pleasurable things that lead to joy and awe – play more, hike more, visit museums, watch a sunset with a loved one, be curious. 

Most of us were taught that being busy and getting things done is the most important thing.  If you finish all of your work then, maybe, you will have time to relax a bit.  But it turns out that joy and awe are critical to both mental and physical health.  We have to learn to set aside time, money, and effort for pleasure (gasp!). 

Self Love is something many of us have great difficulty with.  Certainly, very few of us were raised to value pleasure as highly as busyness.  Allowing ourselves to choose a yummy, connected, health-giving life - and to do that without guilt - is one of the most important acts of self love we can make.

We can begin to make the shift by taking small steps.  I frequently recommend naps and baths.  Usually the first time I suggest that to a friend or client who is under a lot of stress they look at me really funny.  Adults don’t take naps and baths!  Then slowly their face begins to change as they realize that I’ve just given them permission to do something loving for themselves. 

What if we felt empowered to take acts of self love on a daily basis?  What might change for you if you felt joy and awe regularly?  I am going to try to find a way to eat dark chocolate, in a hot tub, while watching the sunset with my lover next weekend.  What takes your breath away? I hereby give you permission to love yourself by finding that thing that turns you on.  Purely for health reasons, of course ;)